{"product_id":"i-ve-cooked","title":"I’ve Cooked for People I Should Have Poisoned So Yes, I Do Have Self Control T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eDarkly funny, brutally honest, and dripping with self-restraint. The “I’ve Cooked for People I Should Have Poisoned — So Yes, I Do Have Self Control” T-shirt is for anyone whose patience deserves a medal.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePerfect for sarcasm lovers, stress survivors, and people who keep it together against all odds, this tee turns dark humor and inner discipline into a laugh-out-loud statement. It’s dramatic, exaggerated, and absolutely relatable.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• Soft, comfortable fabric for all-day wear\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed, unisex fit\u003cbr\u003e• Durable, high-quality print\u003cbr\u003e• Ideal for casual wear or gifting someone whose self-control is truly heroic\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLength (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWidth (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChest (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e34–37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e38–41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e42–45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46–49\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e50–53\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e54–57\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e","brand":"Goofy Wear","offers":[{"title":"Pink \/ S","offer_id":51948107923732,"sku":"7959239_4136","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ M","offer_id":51948107956500,"sku":"7959239_4137","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ L","offer_id":51948107989268,"sku":"7959239_4138","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ XL","offer_id":51948108022036,"sku":"7959239_4139","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ 2XL","offer_id":51948108054804,"sku":"7959239_4140","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ 3XL","offer_id":51948108087572,"sku":"7959239_5303","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Pink \/ 4XL","offer_id":51948108120340,"sku":"7959239_5318","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":51948107202836,"sku":"7959239_8923","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":51948107235604,"sku":"7959239_8924","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":51948107268372,"sku":"7959239_8925","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":51948107301140,"sku":"7959239_8926","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":51948107333908,"sku":"7959239_8927","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":51948107366676,"sku":"7959239_8928","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 4XL","offer_id":51948107399444,"sku":"7959239_8929","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 5XL","offer_id":51948107432212,"sku":"7959239_12878","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ S","offer_id":51948107464980,"sku":"7959239_9395","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ M","offer_id":51948107497748,"sku":"7959239_9396","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ L","offer_id":51948107530516,"sku":"7959239_9397","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ XL","offer_id":51948107563284,"sku":"7959239_9398","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ 2XL","offer_id":51948107596052,"sku":"7959239_9399","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ 3XL","offer_id":51948107628820,"sku":"7959239_9400","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Mauve \/ 4XL","offer_id":51948107661588,"sku":"7959239_9401","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ S","offer_id":51948107694356,"sku":"7959239_4081","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ M","offer_id":51948107727124,"sku":"7959239_4082","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ L","offer_id":51948107759892,"sku":"7959239_4083","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ XL","offer_id":51948107792660,"sku":"7959239_4084","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ 2XL","offer_id":51948107825428,"sku":"7959239_4085","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ 3XL","offer_id":51948107858196,"sku":"7959239_5299","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Gold \/ 4XL","offer_id":51948107890964,"sku":"7959239_5314","price":29.97,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0991\/3778\/2036\/files\/Pink_e9cbacc9-12a1-4d65-9d1e-a7d0f31c7a8f.jpg?v=1770481209","url":"https:\/\/cricutfever.com\/products\/i-ve-cooked","provider":"Cricut Fever","version":"1.0","type":"link"}